A reader wrote to me recently and asked a question I think many women navigating separation are quietly asking themselves: how do I know if I am doing this right.
There is no single right way to move through separation. There is only the way that matches your circumstances, your children, and your own pace. What I can offer is what I have noticed, both in my own experience and in the women I support.
Doing this right does not mean feeling calm every day. It does not mean having a five-year plan by week three. It does not mean your children show no reaction at all. Doing this right looks more like this: making decisions from a steady enough place, rather than a reactive one. Checking in with your children honestly, even when the honest answer is that you do not know yet either. Allowing yourself rest, without treating rest as a luxury you have not earned.
If you are asking yourself the same question, here is a gentler one to try instead. Not, am I doing this right, but, what does steady look like for me this week.
If you would like to send me your own question, reply to this piece. I read every one, and future pieces may answer questions like yours directly.